Today we are talking about life lesson and what I’ve learned in 2017.
This year has been the toughest one for me, emotionally and physically. I got diagnosed with a chronic stomach problem (btw I am cured now, after going through many treatments) and I had to say goodbye to people who were like family to me. I also had to deal with negative, toxic people who affected me emotionally and it’s taking time to put myself back together.
Despite the difficulties, I have changed in ways I have never imagined. Growth always comes with pain! It is unpleasant, but that’s how you become the best version of yourself. I have learned a lot and I decided to write a list of what I learned in 2017.
So let’s begin!
- Don’t hold grudges.
Do not hold grudges, it only makes situations worse and it is toxic to you. You are only hurting yourself when you do that, just be the bigger person and let it go. Plus, I have realized holding grudges is a sign of immaturity.
2. Do Not Respond to Negative People.
I have recently learned that responding less to the remarks of negative people is the best strategy. People like that usually look for reasons to create drama that never even existed. Do not give people like that the satisfaction to see they have upset you. When they see they can no longer push your buttons and get a strong reaction from you is when you will have more peace. Also, the best way to deal with negative people is to distance yourself from them, whether it’s temporarily or permanently. You have to be the judge of that.
3. Do Not Try To Change Others.
It’s hard enough to change yourself, it is nearly impossible to change other people. A person can change only if they realize their faults, and if their behavior is negative. In some circumstances, change may happen but it might be gradual. While in other situations, some people may never change. Don’t stress yourself out, focus on your goals and your life. You never know how your life may change so I think it’s good to hold on to hope.
It’s hard to apologize when there is a conflict, you typically think only one person is wrong and that’s definitely not you. Apologizing to someone and not holding a grudge is important. It shows you are the bigger person, but obviously, the apology depends on the situation. If its something big and someone has done you wrong then you don’t have to apologize. But if it’s a petty argument, then I think it’s best to call it a truce and apologize.
5. Be Positive.
I have learned that being positive is absolutely vital to living a good life. Of course, we can’t always be positive, but if we are negative all the time we get used to it. Our mindset will change and become negative all the time. This is not healthy for you! So starting from 2018 I will write in gratitude journey and get into the habit of positive thinking. I have always been an optimist, but this year was hard and it changed me a bit. However, I have learned not to let negativity take over. You have to take baby steps and one day you will know how to handle negativity with a more positivity. I don’t think people are born positive, some people are simply better at handling negative situations. If you struggle with that, believe you will learn how to be positive too.
6. Eating Healthy.
I learned the hard way that eating healthy is essential for your health. So this year I have cut out processed foods, junk food, sweets, spicy foods, and alcohol. You may ask me, why on Earth are cutting out so much from your diet? It’s because I got diagnosed with a chronic stomach condition this year. I recently found out that I am healed, but in order to ensure I continue to be healthy, I have to watch what I put in my body. This means I have to eat a clean and balanced diet.
7. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
As a woman who is in her late 20s, I tend to think about where life is going and what I have accomplished so far. I can say that have accomplished a lot, I am a university graduate, I have a stable job, a nice home, and a good social circle. However, most of my friends travel a lot, they are getting married and having babies. I am not even close to this stage in my life. I started traveling, but I am not close to getting married or having a baby. To be honest, I don’t want a baby right now, but I do want to get married. But I did a lot of thinking and I realized, I am exactly where I need to be in life. I am currently working towards changing my career to do something I truly love, I have started dance classes and vocal classes. I am working towards getting my ideal career and improving as a performer and photographer. For me, this is the most important thing right now, so I no longer compare myself to people who have started their lives together as a family. My time will come too, but it won’t be right now and I am ok with that.
Forgiveness is not easy for anyone when someone hurts it is a scar that won’t go away overnight. We all have someone who has hurt us with their words, and I always say words are worse than being hit by someone. It’s like someone has shattered your heart and you can’t put it back together. What helped me to forgive is to remember the good times, rather than dwell on the negative. Now that’s easier said than done, but Rome wasn’t built in one day either. Neither are you, so take it day by day. One day you will truly forgive and be free of the emotional turmoil. It will happen so for anyone reading this right now, you will be ok.
9. Take Time For Yourself.
It’s ok to cancel plans to focus on you, what you want in life and get some things back in perspective. No one should make you feel bad about wanting some time to yourself. I think it is healthy to do things on your own, especially when it’s about bettering yourself. It doesn’ mean you will never hang out with your friends, it just means you are starting to put yourself first for once.
10. Don’t Strive For Perfection.
I transformed into a perfectionist eight years ago and that probably wasn’t a good idea. I strived to make everything perfect and when I failed, I would be devastated. This year so many things happened in my life and I realized there is no such thing as perfection. We live in a day and age where we are constantly bombarded with social media, making us think other people’s lives are perfect. There is no such thing, people choose to show us the good stuff. If we live our lives trying to perfect everything, nothing will feel good enough for us. We will always want to excel to the point of perfection. It’s ok to work hard and give it your all when you strive to accomplish something, but remember do not belittle your accomplishments. Making mistakes, failing at something is part of life if those things didn’t happen to you, you will never mature and grow.
11. Say Goodbye to Fear.
Fear holds us back from many things we want to accomplish, I decided this year I will ditch fear. Why? I’ve been saying on this blog for years that I want to start going to dance class, but I always felt afraid. I worried about messing up, or people looking at me too much. This year I decided not to care and I attended my first six-week dance course and it was the best. I feel more confident and ready to enroll in my next dance course. I will write more about my dance experience soon.
I have discovered great comfort in meditation, even though I am not the best at it yet I am definitely getting better. It allows me to focus on the here and now which is so important. I highly recommend it, there are great apps you can use for meditation such as HeadSpace. It is so important to live in the present moment, thinking about the past or future is not healthy. Focus on the here and now because this will be the only time in your life you will live in this moment and you don’t want to waste it.
It hasn’t been easy to learn the hard way, but sometimes it is necessary. That’s true self-growth, and I am happy I reached this level of maturity before I turn 30. I rather learn these things while I’m young because changing your behavior when you are older is a challenge.
Thank you all for reading and I wish you all a prosperous, healthy and happy 2018!
See you soon!