R.I.P Kim Jonghyun

This post is late because I needed a few days to gather my thoughts and how I wanted to express my feelings.

On Monday, December 18, 2017, I logged into my Instagram to see the news that Jonghyun from Shinee has passed away. At first, I thought it was a hoax, but I did more research and it is true.

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According to the recent reports, Jonghyun sent a text message to his older sister on Monday, suggesting he will end his life. Later that day he was found unconscious at a private hotel in Seoul, when he was brought to the hospital he was pronounced dead. He was only 27 years old. Apparently, Jonghyun was suffering from depression and it is too much for him.

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In the text messages Jonghyun’s last words to his sister were:

“Final farewell” while another said, “I’ve had a hard time. Please let me go and say that I did a good job. This is my last word.”

As stated in an article by Global News, Yonhap news agency said authorities found burned coal briquettes, which produce carbon monoxide, in a frying pan in the Gangham district apartment (Global News). It has been confirmed yet if the cause of death is suicide, but many people think JongHyun has taken his own life.

Two weeks prior to his death, Kim sends a message a friend who is also a Kpop star from the group Dear Cloud. Jang was told by Kim to post the text to social media “if he disappears from the world.” This is what was said in the letter.

I was broken from the inside.

The depression slowly chipped me away, finally devouring me.

I could not beat the negativity.

I hated myself. Even though I tried so hard demanding my memories that kept getting cut off to ‘wake up,’ all I got in return was silence.

I’d rather stop if I cannot breathe.

I asked who could be responsible for me.

You’re the only one.

I felt utterly alone.

It is easy to say “I’m going to end it.”

It is very difficult to actually go through with it.

I’ve been struggling through the difficulty.

I told myself that it’s just me wanting to run away from everything.

It’s true. I really did want to run away.

From me.

From you.

I asked, “Who’s there?” It’s me. It’s me again. And it’s me the third time.

I asked, “Why do I keep on losing my memory?” They said it’s due to my personality. I see. It’s all my fault.

I wanted someone to notice (my suffering), but no one knew. Of course, they wouldn’t. They never met me before.

I asked why people live. Just. Just. They live “just because.”

If I ask why people died, they would probably say they couldn’t bear it any longer.

Troubling thoughts flooded my head. I never got the chance to learn how to change dull pain into pure joy.

Pain is just pain.

I kept reprimanding myself not to do so.

Why? Why can’t I even end my life with my own will?

I tried figuring out the reasons for my pain and suffering.

I already had the answer. I was in pain because of me. It’s all my fault that I carry so many imperfections.

Teacher, is this what you wanted to hear?

No. I didn’t do anything wrong.

I used to think that it’s so easy for doctors to blame your personality for the suffering in their calm voice.

It surprises me how I am feeling this much pain. Those people, who have suffered worse than I, seem to go on living perfectly fine. Those weaker than I am live on as well. I guess not. Among the living, there is no one who is suffering worse and no one who is weaker.

The only answer I got back was “just live nevertheless.”

Asking the purpose of life more than one hundred times is not for me. It’s for you.

I wanted to do it for me.

Please don’t say things you don’t know.

How could you ask me to still look for reasons behind my pain? I told you multiple times why I’m suffering. Do I need more reasons to be in pain? More dramatic details in my stories? More stories even?

I told you already. Were you absent-minded when I told you? Things you can bear and even come above do not leave scars.

It wasn’t my responsibility to go against the world.

It wasn’t my path to become world-famous.

That’s why they say it’s hard to go against the world and to become famous. Why did I choose this path? It’s quite funny now that I think about it.

It’s a miracle that I endured through it all this time.

What more can I say. Just tell me “good job.”

You did great. Tell me I suffered enough.

Even though you can’t laugh right now, just don’t send me off blaming me.

Good job.

You suffered a great deal.


This is so heartbreaking to read and see how much he was suffering in silence. This is why it is so important to end the stigma surrounding mental health, no should be shamed for going through hardships. Everyone dealing with depression or anxiety should feel like they can go to someone for help, instead of feeling ashamed.

I will remember Jonghyun as someone who lived his dream to be a singer, to perform on stage and to be loved by many of his fans. It is true that there are some people in the public who badmouth Kpop stars, and it is true they have insane pressure and expectations from the Kpop industry. But they are human too and they don’t deserve to be treated so harshly, to point where they feel they have to take their own life.

Kim Jonghyun’s was heavenly he added something extra special to his group, Shinee. Shinee debuted in 2008 with five members Taemin, Jonghyun, Key, Onew, and Minho.

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From left to right. Onew, Minho, Taemin, Jonghyun, and Key.
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Left to right! Onew, Taemin, Jonghyun, Minho, and Key.

I discovered their music in 2013, I’ve listened to their songs during some happy times in my life. I remember listening to their song “View” in the car on my way to my friend’s cottage for her Bachelorette party. Every time I listened to their music it was during a happy moment in my life. I’m sad Jonghyun will no longer be among us to hear his angelic voice and see his beautiful smile.

There is something alarming that’s happening in the fandom right now, many fans are committing suicide after finding out the news. If you are part of the fandom and you are reading this, please do not kill yourself. Please, I am begging you. I understand you are hurting but that’s not the way to deal with the pain. Jonghyun would want you to stay alive and remember him with a smile. His family has the worst time coping with this but they are not resorting to extremes, so please stop and don’t do it.

Let’s remember him with a smile and send off this angel to heaven to sing and be at peace. Remember time heals.

Rest in peace and thank you for bringing beautiful music into this dark and harsh world.

Below I will share some of his solo music videos and the first Shinee music video I ever discovered.

Thank you so much for reading! See you soon.


Source [https://globalnews.ca/news/3924467/jonghyun-suicide-letter-note/]


The Ugly Side of the Kpop Industry!

The world of Kpop is unlike anything you’ve ever seen, the colors, the fashion and the unique music concepts. Once you enter the world of Kpop, there is no going back because let face it, it is quite great to be part of the Kpop craze. However, there is much more to Kpop than fun and games! We tend to see Kpop stars always smiling and looking glamorous, but this wasn’t always the case for them. In fact, the journey to becoming a Kpop star is incredibly long and emotionally draining. So today, I wanted to take the time to sit down and write about the Kpop industry. I have learned all of this information from YouTube, from interviews with Kpop stars and online articles. If you were ever interested to see how someone can become a star in South Korea, this is the blog post for you.

In South Korea, there are three major entertainment agencies: SM Entertainment, JYP and YG.


There are other entertainment agencies of course, such as Pledis, CUBE, DSP, Starship and many more. However, the first agencies I listed rank the highest among the others. If someone wants to become a Kpop star, they have to go through an audition process. When auditions are held, the participants are graded on their vocal and dancing abilities, having charisma is considered an asset as well. When participants pass their auditions, this does not mean they are on their way to stardom. The next step is training, also known as the trainee life. Some trainees are as young as ten years old, and transitioning out of that trainee life is extremely challenging. Below you can watch audition from YouTube of famous Kpop stars i.e. SNSD, Park Bom from 2ne1 and Taemin from SHINEE.

The trainee life time span varies from a few months, to a few years. This all depends on the abilities of the artist, the more you lack, the longer you train. There are some trainees who train for years and eventually they don’t debut at all. This is the sad reality for some people who aspire to become a Kpop star. Trainees also have a very strict schedule, they have to train vocally and improve their dancing skills. They also take language classes, because being multilingual or bilingual in the Kpop industry is considered an asset. For example, the Queen of Kpop, BoA, knows Korean, English, Japanese and Chinese. Knowing more than one language is important because it helps the artist make break through into the foreign music market. That is usually the goal of the entertainment companies. There are a lot of stories about the life of a trainee, and some stories are not positive. Plastic surgery is very popular among some Kpop stars, some trainees are told they need to undergo plastic surgery before debuting. The purpose of this is for trainees to look more “appealing” to the public. There is an obsession with looking perfect and acting perfect. Kpop idol, Suhyun from the duo group, AKMU shared a story on a KBS2 variety program Happy Together. According to her, CEO of YG Entertainment asked her, “For you Suhyun, how about getting a little touch up on your nose?” Following this question, Suhyun responded respectfully and firmly, “Not going to do it. President, I am already very thankful that I have two nostrils that I can breathe out of.”

Suhyun on the TV show, “Happy Together”.

Way to go, she certainly knows how to handle herself in the industry and she is not letting the pressure influence her decisions!

Another problem in the Kpop industry is overworking the artists with an intense work schedule. Former, SM and EXO member, Tao, expressed his frustrations about his former company in an exclusive interview. In his interview, Tao talked about his trainee life, the busy schedule they had to abide by, whether they were sick or injured. Tao shared that SM staff used to encourage them to push through, even if they were ill or injured. To watch more of what Tao had to say, watch the video below.

Former SM trainee, Stella Kim, talked about her experiences of being told she needs to lose weight and go on crazy diets. Based on many examples that are covered in this post, it looks like the Kpop industry is highly focused on looks, therefore coming across as very superficial. This kind of treatment may tend to lead to many disorders, including emotional issues. To hear more of what Stella Kim had to say, take a look at her video below.

Most agencies control everything from whether the artists can date, to the type  of music the Kpop stars can release. These agencies typically come up with the concepts, lyrics and composition of the artist’s work, giving them little power over production process. However, there are instances where there is an exception.  Aside from this, it is said that Kpop Stars have the so-called slave contract. The Stars sign a contract for a number of years, however if you try to leave earlier, the agency will file a lawsuit. That has happened quite a bit of times recently, especially when Tao, Luhan and Kris from EXO left SM Entertainment before their contract expired. SM Entertainment filed a lawsuit against the three members, with Tao losing the battle. The lawsuit results against Luhan and Kris have not been released yet because nothing has been finalized. However, SM Entertainment were successful with their lawsuit against Tao. Another example of Kpop idols engaging in a legal battle with their agencies are Dong Bang Shin Ki. They took their management to court over their 13 year contract, claiming their didn’t get enough of the profit. The group won the lawsuit, resulting in  the Fair Trade Commission to bring into play a “model contract” to attempt to improve the deals that idols got from their management companies (information about this particular matter was gathered from http://beyondhallyu.com/k-pop/k-pop-slave-contracts-a-closer-look/). The reality of the Kpop industry is rather than focusing more on fair treatment of their artists, most of the time Kpop idols are used as a way for the companies to make profit. Behind the scenes, the Kpop industry is big hot mess, where idols are exploited. There are always exceptions, but there is no denying that the Kpop world can be rough and if you want to audition, do a throughout research of the industry.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this matter, so feel free to leave me a brief comment.

See you soon!








Music Monday! F(x) – All Mine

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog. Life for me has been very busy lately, because I recently returned from a trip to the West Coast.

It was one of the best trips I’ve ever had and it was a much needed one too. My friend and I went on a road trip to Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington. You bet there was a lot of music playing in the car to keep us entertained.

Today I want to share one of my favorite songs from the road trip, of course it’s a Kpop song. The Korean pop group, F(x) released their single “All Mine” on July 22, 2016.

The music video was produced and edited by fellow group member, Amber. The music video features all four member holding a camera on their own, at an individual setting. The music video feels more intimate and down to Earth, without the high-end production value. Nowadays, that’s more to my liking because it feels more natural and simple.
The song is a funky EDM inspired track, which is part of SM Entertainment’s new feature, SM Station. SM Station releases more EDM inspired tracks, and as a EDM fan this is a major A+ in my books. “All Mine” is wonderful song with a cheerful upbeat tune, that’ll make get up and dance. This is officially my summer song of 2016!

What’s yours? Tell me in the comments box below and don’t forget to tell me if you like this song 🙂

Thank you for stopping by my blog, make sure you go to visit my lifestyle blog to read about my travelling adventures.

https://wordpress.com/plans/dailytalkweb.wordpress.com ← my lifestyle blog!

See you soon with a much anticipated photography post!

Music Monday! Luna – Free Somebody!

Hello everyone,

Welcome back to Music Monday! As promised, I have a Kpop music video featured in today’s segment. Those of you have followed me for a very long time, you know my strong love for Kpop and Jpop. Today I will share the “Free Somebody” music video by Luna from the popular Kpop girl group, F(x). Luna released her solo debut on May 30, 2016 and her EP “Free Somebody”  on May 31, featuring six singles.

This video as an imagery adventure, from the animated clips, to the special effects, the cinematography was definitely on point. This is a new side of Luna, that fans have not seen before. She radiates confidence, with her sharp dancing skills and powerful vocal range. The genre of the song is a mix of electronica and R&B, this concept suits her very well.

I guarantee you that this song will be on replay for days, it’s inevitable!


See you soon!